Not Acting Right

Thong protestors

2005-06-28T11:34:00.000-06:00

Thong protestors
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

This group of people is protesting a new fabric made with some voodoo magic shit by Eddie Bauer.

If they feel getting naked helps their cause ... more power to 'em.

But I protest their nasty-ass balls hangin' out, swaying in the breeze.

Plus, why is it that protesters always smell like patchouli and kim chee?

Tom with his new girlfriends

2005-06-22T09:26:00.000-06:00

Tom with Katie balls
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

Katie Holmes has a twin sister.

The three of them make a nice menage a trois, eh?

Boy, do those girls love to hang out!

Anti Monkey Butt

2005-06-21T15:08:00.000-06:00

Anti Monkey Butt
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

Summer's here.

And you know what that means ... MONKEY BUTT!!!

Monkey butt is the malodorous condition that occurs when you sweat clean through your drawers while sitting in your momma's basement looking at Internet porn.

Your ass gets all funky and chapped and people start asking you if your work in a morgue.

Praise to all things sweaty and stanky for the Van Patton's invented Anti Monkey Butt.

Now we can ALL go back to wearing underwear and avoid the dreaded "oops, my giant balls were hanging out my Sunday best" scenario.

Kinsey and galls

2005-06-20T14:21:00.000-06:00

Kinsey and galls
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

A man who dedicated his career to shattering sexual taboos is really above the level of being balled by us ...

But Margarita found this picture of him with a pile of galls and well, ... it was just too tempting to pass us. Our juvenile tendencies are what fuels this blog.

So here is Kinsey, the man who revolutionized the discourse on intercourse, complete with galls and balls.

Store Wars

2005-06-17T13:03:00.000-06:00

Store Wars
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

Just because it's politically correct doesn't mean we can't ball it.

Store Wars

One of thse spoof movies that's intended to spark your conscious into doing the right thing ... well, the title of this blog is: Not Acting Right.

So, the Store Wars guys got balled. Except for the C3 Peanuts guy ... he's already all nuts!

Can't say he ain't good with balls!

2005-06-16T14:47:00.000-06:00

Tiger balls
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

Um, yo, Tiger, my man,

Don't you feel the breeze or are you just used to your balls flying thorugh the air?

Nut Mints

2005-06-15T09:59:00.000-06:00

Nut Mints
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

Do you find that your nuts get stale and musty? Do you wish you had a way to make your balls fresh and tasty?

Introducing, from the makers of Chipotle Urinal Cakes, NUT MINTS.

Freshen up your nether regions with the Swedish Chef's patented Nut Mints.

Your balls (and your weekly hooker) will thank you it.

Now with more sweaty flavor!

Donkey balls

2005-06-14T10:15:00.000-06:00

Burro balls
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

Aww! Isn't that cute? Lil' Mr. Punkinhead sitting on his ass.

Why does he look like he's gonna cry? Could it be because his donkey's balls are big and long and he knows his own puny human balls will never compare?

Proly.

Google Balls

2005-06-13T15:37:00.000-06:00

google balls
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

I love Google. I don't know how I got through my days before the world of google opened my eyes to so many things ... like bukkake.

Having said that, I'd like for everyone to know that the folks at Google are a bit nannyish.

When we started this blog, we applied to have Google Ads listed on this site.

Late last week, we received an almost curt e-mail denying our request on the grounds that this site contains adult content and adult language.

What the fuck? Really? Adding testicles to innocent pictures is adult content?

Says who? And is the fucking language really that bad? I mean we're not talking about feltching or unloading some hot carls here, fer fuck's sake.

Most guys have nuts, some little boys too.

Really, Mr. Google, what's the big problem here?

paris_hilton

2005-06-10T09:02:00.000-06:00

paris_hilton
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

Now that's hot! I would play with that anyday!

Ladies like 'em silver

2005-06-10T08:33:00.000-06:00

Ladies like 'em silver
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

Guys! Hey, you wanna score with the hot chicks?

Get yourself to the beach, don your full-body Jango Fett/Iron Giant suit and sit back and wait.

The barely clad bevy of pseudo beauties will be lining up to get a taste of your sandy metallic sack o' nuts.

Or you can do like this poor sap did and make yourself a sad preproduction of a Star Wars character out of tin foil and your mama's used knee-highs and pay girls to stand near you.

I mean, it's obvious this guy had to drive his tin-man ass down to the beach to find a girl who he could out run (running in sandals on the beach without losing your jaunty hat is a hard task to accomplish).

With a couple $20 taped to your ass, you too could have your picture taken with common beach ornaments — so long as you don't take off the mask.

Probably the most fucked up picture ever

2005-06-09T09:27:00.000-06:00

Baby balls
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

Whenever I see an innocent infant, I often think, "He's cute, but how much cuter would he be if he was pounding a brew, puffing a ciggy and swinging his little, tiny nutsack around for God and everybody to see."

What?

Ya'll don't have those same thoughts?

Sure you do, but you're just too afraid (or have too much decorum) to admit it. But I'm pretty darn sure I'm not the only one.

Disclaimer: I would like to note that true to Not Acting Right's policy, we only added the balls. The baby come with his own beer and cigarette."

Meet Captain Low Talker

2005-06-08T14:00:00.000-06:00

low talker
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

This is Captain Low Talker. We like the captain despite the fact that we can't understand a gull-durned word he says ... because he's a low talker.

A conversation with him goes something like this:

Ball Girls: Top o' the morning to ya, captain.

Cpt. Low Talker: Bork, muffze doodle le do.

BG: Um, yeah, OK.

Cpt.: Bork, bork mum drum.

BG: Sure thing, captain.

Then we both end up dressing like pirates to our weekly yoga class.

Who are we?

2005-06-08T10:16:00.000-06:00

We are Margarita and Chickadee — two girls who share a love for not acting right and always acting wrong.

Our goal for this blog is to expose and exploit all things ludicrous ... and to post pictures of people and sundry other shit sporting large plastic testicles.

The act of applying phony gonads on people, animals and whatever else that catches our fancy is called "balling." Let me use that in a sentence:

For his birthday, we balled Chai-Chai's truck. (And we totally did ball Chai-Chai's truck for his 30th birthday. He didn't really think it was as funny as we did.)

— or —

We totally balled Nicole Richie in the previous post.

Keep in mind that the primary function of this site is to amuse ourselves and, for fuck's sake, to have a forum within which we can fucking swear as much as we fucking want.

-chickadee

Here we are!

2005-06-07T16:40:00.000-06:00

Here we are!
Originally uploaded by Not Acting Right.

No, we're not Nicole Richie (you know her ... she was on that show with that skinny-assed Paris Hilton), we're the ones who balled her.